Shino's Too Sexy
by Baby Cougar
Summary: Hinata found Tsunade's sake and have it to an unsuspecting Shino.Now he's drunk off his ass in a karaoke bar on gay night. That was a little detail everyone forgot. I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. Fourth and final in "Drunk" series.


**Uh-oh. Hinata found the Sake. Shino thought he'd hidden it so well this time…and now…it's worse than it's ever been. Shino won't remember this in the morning…if he's lucky. I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred. Fourth Installment.**

Shino relaxed on the couch. There would be no missions for a while, Kurenai was on maternity leave. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Hinata said that she had a special dinner prepared for him, then a date later. Normally, he prepared the dinners and dates, but she wanted to do something special. So, there he was, sitting on the couch, waiting. He opted to leave his large green sweatshirt off, it was warm. He stuck with his black shirt and sunglasses. Those round ones were getting out of style, so he opted for a sleeker pair.

_Ding Dong._

_Hinata must be here_, Shino thought to himself. He got up form the couch and opened the door to let her in. She came in and gave him a hug.

"Hey Shino-kun! Are you ready for tonight? You wait here, I'll get our dinner ready in the kitchen."

Shino led her to the kitchen and sat himself down, talking across the house to her.

"So where are we going tonight?"

"It's a surprise, Shino. I know you'll have fun."

Shino was happy enough with that answer.

Hinata was grinning from ear to ear. She had gotten a hold of a bottle of sake, confiscated from Tsunade by Shizune. It was awfully concentrated stuff, but if she used it as a marinade, her plan may work. She poured it on all the food she was serving Shino, mixing it in, preparing it as a marinade. She poured some in his drink. She had used half the bottle already. She hid it in one of the cabinets. Smiling, she took both servings out to the table, making sure that he got the marinated dish. So as not to arouse suspicion with the taste, she quickly thought of something. Shino wasn't stupid, after all.

"I made a new marinade. I hope you like it, I spent hours working on it. I had to wait to right before I served the food in order for it to mix right, the oils would have settled otherwise."

Shino looked at the meal set before him. Hinata had always been an awesome cook. Chicken, grilled, laid upon a fresh salad, with rice mixed in. "Oils" soaked the dish, as well as all those bits of pepper and tomato…kind of like Italian dressing, but not. Hinata's dish was similar, but hers was actually made with the oil.

She took the first bite, wrinkling her nose to emphasize that it tastes a little funny, although hers tasted fine.

"I guess I used too much of….something. Oh, well, it's not that bad. What do you think, Shino-kun?"

Shino took a bite of the chicken, and found the marinade to be very tangy. It tasted a little but like sake to him, but he knew Hinata doesn't cook with alcohol, so it probably was too much of something. Other than that, it tasted great.

"This is good, Hinata. I like it. You are right about the marinade, it actually tastes somewhat like sake."

Hinata froze when he said that, but she covered it up by stuffing a large piece of chicken in her mouth. They had both drained their drinks over halfway through the meal, and Hinata took the opportunity to refill their drinks. Of course, Shino's was mixed. She almost felt bad for doing this, but she had an awful time explaining herself after that nectar…even if that was an absolutely amazing day…and an even better night… Whatever it was in the nectar, it made her do things she would never do. Or, at least, would never have the courage to do. She needed to repay Shino back. He should be getting fuzzy now, the bottle is almost empty, and that stuff was three times as concentrated as the stuff they sell at the bars.

She returned, giving Shino his drink and sitting down with her own. She felt like she accomplished something, after all, she was pulling this off in his own house. His father would like the gift of the leftover anyway.

The best part? Shino was clueless. Even better? He would be even more clueless as the night progressed. His face was tinted pink, yup, he was there. She took the plates into the kitchen, leaving him there, slumped in the chair. Poor boy couldn't handle the alcohol. Hinata chuckled. After putting the dishes in the sink, she whipped out her lavender RAZR and called Sakura.

"Hey Sa-chan?"

"Yeah, Hina-chan?"

"Is everyone there? He's pretty drunk. I practically drowned the food in that sake you got off Shizune. This is gonna be hilarious. He can't move from the chair right now. He doesn't take alcohol very well. We'll be coming soon. Make sure the whole gang is there."

"You got it. See you guys soon, oh the DJ's here!"

"Bye" Hinata shut the phone. Slipping it back in her pocket, she went back out to get Shino, who was currently lying on the floor. Hinata rolled her eyes.

She picked him up off the floor and shook him.

"Wake up! You are gonna miss our date!" She didn't give him time to respond, She draped his jacket over him and took him out the door.

He managed to find his legs over halfway there and walked, rather clumsily, the rest of the way there with her. Hey walked into the bar just to be greeted by the rest of Konoha's young ninja. The ones old enough to be in the bar anyway.

Hinata bought some fruity little drink and let Shino have a sip. He was lost in his own world. The music started, and Sakura went up to sing. She sang "Gone" by Kelly Clarkson. When she finished, she walked over to Lee (who was the designated driver hinthint) and dragged him to a wall, kissing him. Everyone sweat dropped, except Lee, who just dropped, and Sakura, who tumbled down after since she was holding onto his jumpsuit. She just kissed him again.

Moving on, Hinata urged Shino to go onstage and sing. She shoved a paper in his hands to give to the DJ.

"What song did you give him?" Kiba whispered in her ear.

"Just watch, and get your Kodak ready."

Kiba dropped his jaw, but it got even wider when a recognizable beat started playing, and Shino started to sing.

_I'm too sexy for my love_

_Too sexy for my love_

_My love's going to leave me_

Shino started out nervous, but, because he was drunk off his ass, he got more into it. Wow, thought Hinata, no matter how wasted he is he still has and awesome voice.

The crowd had gone silent when Shino started to sin, all eyes trained on the Aburame. All of this happened in the few seconds between the two first verses.

Shino had shed his green jacket, it was just too hot. He was up there with his black shirt, one hand in the air and the other holding a mike to his mouth, he struck a dramatic singing pose.

_I'm too sexy for my shirt_

_Too sexy for my shirt_

_So sexy it hurts_

Hinata's eyes widened. That wasn't supposed to happen. Shino stripped off his shirt and threw it into the crowd, who were so quiet that you could hear a cricket chirp.

CHEEP CHEEP

"Dammit Shibi!"

"What? My brat's too drunk to do that himself."

The entire crowd exploded. Cheers and laughter filled the room.

_I'm too sexy for the Sand_

_Too sexy for the Sand_

_The Leaf and Japan_

_And I'm too sexy for your party_

_Too sexy for your party_

_No way I'm disco dancing_

Shino turned his back to the crowd, before whipping back around with a Gai-esque smile, going into a pelvic thrust and waving one arm up and down, disco style. The crowd cheered.

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I do my little turn on the catwalk_

He walked to the end of the stage and spun, somehow managing to not fall off.

_I'm too sexy for this bar_

_Too sexy for this bar_

_Too sexy by far_

A pair of boxers got thrown at him. That's right, Fridays were gay nights.

_And I'm too sexy for my 'fro_

_Too sexy for my 'fro_

_Too sexy doncha know?_

He ran a hand through the mop on his head. He was clearly modifying the song, it was highly amusing

_I'm a model you know what I mean_

_And I do my little turn on the catwalk_

_Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah_

_I shake my little tush on the catwalk_

He walked to the end of the stage and turned, but stopped with his back to the crowd and shook his butt Naruto-esque at the crowd. Another pair of boxers flew at him, landing on his head like a hat. He took no notice.

_And I'm too sexy for my cat_

_Too sexy for my cat_

_Poor pussy poor pussy cat_

_I'm too sexy for my love_

_Too sexy for my love_

_Loves going to leave me_

"Hey Hinata?" Naruto whispered in her ear.

"What?" she responded.

"Does Shino actually have a cat?"

"Yes. Her name is Kiki."

"Oh."

_And I'm too sexy for the ants_

_Too sexy for the ants_

_Oh the ants in my pants…_

He ripped off his pants and threw it into the crowd. Upon inspection, there were, indeed, ants in his pants. The entire crowd went dead quiet.

CHEEP CHEEP

"Dammit Shibi!"

"What?"

Shino sweat dropped; that didn't work out as planned.

_And I'm too sexy for this song._

Shino stumbled off the stage, and collapsed on the floor. The entire bar broke into earsplitting laughter. Hinata put the green jacket on him and carried the semi-naked unconscious bug-boy to his father.

"That had to be the most entertaining thing ever. There's a reason Aburame Clan members don't drink too much, you know. But it's sure as hell fun to watch!" Shibi laughed and took his son home.

O.o.O.o.O.o.O

Shino awoke the next morning with a splitting headache. Why did he have a headache? The last thing he remembered was Hinata serving him dinner, and then…nothing.

He got up and got dressed, taking some painkillers for the headache.

He went out into town, only to be followed by a few ninja from his age group. Naruto popped out in front of him.

"Hey Shino? How are those ants? They still in your pants?"

"Huh? How did you…?"

Sakura popped up next. "Did you ever get your shirt back? And did you keep that underwear?"

"What? What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Naruto started to laugh. "Man, you must've been really drunk to not remember singing "I'm Too sexy"

"No. I couldn't have. You must be talking about someone else."

"No it's true. Kiba has photos."

He help a copy of one up, it showed a shirtless Shino screaming into a microphone, swinging his black shirt over his head. His glasses were off too. Shino just stared. One person came to his mind. He thought that food tasted funny.

He dropped to his knees in the middle of the crowded street and screamed at the top of his lungs.

"HINATA!!"

***Smirks* I've been waiting to write this one. I couldn't think of how to switch up the song for Shino, but I finally pulled through. The ant thing was a last minute thing, it popped up right then and there and I just put it in. I had to do the cricket thing, it's just part of my stories. Since it wasn't Shino doing it, I had to throw Shibi in there.**

**Review! I believe this is the last in the "Drunk" series.**

**Ja ne!**

!!!!!!!!

**Because of a review I got, I would like to point out that they are not at a gay bar. They are at a bar on Frday night, and Friday night happens to be gay night. That had slipped evryone's minds when they set this plan up.**

!!!!!!!!


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